morealaura: Experience seeker


Optimism Harry Mills, Ph. Optimism is the name given to the personality trait exhibited by people who tend to expect that good things will happen in the future. The opposite of optimism is pessimism, which is the believe that bad things will happen. A fair amount of scientific evidence now suggests that being optimistic contributes to good health, both mental and physical. Optimism helps to improve health in several ways. By reducing the sense of helplessness that tends to set in when people feel out of control, optimism helps to motivate people to take constructive action primary control they otherwise would not bother with. By making it possible to believe that bad situations can improve, optimism motivates people to change those bad situations e. By nipping problems in the bud before they become entrenched, optimists end up on average having to solve fewer difficult life problems than do pessimists. Optimism also improves a person’s ability to develop friendships and supportive relationships because it motivates people to think that other people will like them.


In this instance, the theory goes that in a healthy relationship, 80 percent of it should be amazing, and the other 20 percent should be … things you can live with. And what counts as being OK for the 20 percent imperfect part? I tapped Hannah Green , a Bay Area psychotherapist specializing in individual and couples therapy, to find out more.

The 80/20 rule isn’t just for diets—here’s why you should be applying the principle to dating, too. Crucial for any successful relationship. “Realistic expectations result in less stress.

You feel like you are going crazy. They turn everything around. They will make you feel like you are the one that is going crazy instead of them. You might become paranoid. You might worry about what you wear and what you say and freak out if someone changes your plans or something unexpected happens that you will have to explain later. If you are a peaceful person, you might find yourself constantly fighting.

You might explode when you get too frustrated. You feel like there is something seriously wrong with you. You feel like you are walking on eggshells. Get a job offer in another state? Agree to babysit for your sister? You might be terrified of what your partner will say or do if you tell them.

Realistic vs Optimistic Thinking

June 19, at 5: Im reposting this from the PUA thread, because I feel as though it is pertinent here as well: On the flip side, the whole reason why we are in this whole mess is, like mentioned above, it is a zero-sum game, that is fought via power and social status.

I am a fun loving realistic eternal optimist. I am practical and reliable but I also have a very cheeky and sassy side. I’m not into clubbing.

Like this lesson Share Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist? The optimist thinks things will be great, the pessimist thinks they’ll be terrible, and the realist knows that they can go either way. In this lesson we’ll compare optimistic and realistic thinking. What are Realism and Optimism? Both sides think they’re right, and both sides tend to think that they’re realistic in their views. In other words, both the hopeful and the despairing think that their point of view is accurate.

In reality, though, the two points of view are merely emotionally-colored ways of looking at the past, present, and future. The realist tries to keep emotion out of the equation. When you’re optimistic, you tend to see the brighter side of things, and you’re convinced that things are getting better. You tend to believe in people, and you think that life’s really pretty good–and getting better by the day.

Lesbian Passions

Human resources is a support function in an organisation. In the overwhelming majority of cases, they are taking their orders from men. As Taeuber acknowledged herself, these women whom she accuses of choosing the company over the sisterhood rely on the company for putting food on their tables and a roof over their kids’ heads.

Except for the most privileged of women, that is not a choice at all. I am not denying that some women act reprehensibly at times.

The secret to being an eternal optimist is simple – you choose it for yourself. You will become depressed, you will be sad, you will face challenges in life – but you will know each and every time that you will come out stronger on the other side.

Why Optimists are so Optimistic! Optimists have good days and days that are on the verge of good. And did you know they have a creed? Well, I decided to make a post of it today. All the writing between creed provisions is mine. And since optimism is so central to happiness, I thought it worthy of some consideration … and a few hours at the keyboard.


April 24, How many of these things does your guy do? If you’re looking for a life partner, chances are you want someone who’s honest, loyal, thoughtful and caring. But what about the subtler details? What are the small things that separate an average married man from the best husband EVER?

Pessimistic, Optimistic or Realistic? Living with an Authentic Spirit. Which of these words would you use to describe yourself? Pessimist / Optimist / Realist.

That is, technology has both advantages and disadvantages. I agree that technology has both its advantages and disadvantages but because I think that the benefits outweigh the consequences, I am a techno-optimist. I feel that technology is a great way to start or raise awareness about an issue; however, it is not the place to take action about an issue. Humans cannot completely depend on technology to fix problems because technology can only do so much and go so far.

In one of my sociology classes, I realized that social networking sites, such as facebook, are beneficial in that they can help raise awareness about an issue. They can do little more than raise awareness, however. For example, in the past, women have posted their bra colors as their facebook status to raise awareness about breast cancer. One friend may see this status, post it for his five hundred friends to see and this pattern continues.

More and more people will be informed about breast cancer, but there is no actual money going towards finding a cure just through facebook.


Meeting people, interacting, and dating are all dependent on the attitude and aura we put out into the world. For instance, when we first meet someone in a local scene, a first impressions is made in the first seven seconds. That means that the attitude and demeanor that we present will be what people believe we are, at least until there is deeper interaction which is dependent on the first impression. Not sure what kind of attitude you may be projecting?

One of the common features of an epic is the “fabulous loci” for the hero to visit. Fantasy novels can have some loci that are quite pretty or terrifying, but science .

Do you know a person who is friendly one day but sulks and withdraws the next? Does a family member or friend consistently procrastinate, postpone, stall, and shut down any emotionally-laden conversations? Are you sometimes that person? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, chances are you may be interacting with a passive aggressive person or showing signs of passive-aggressive behavior yourself.

In The Angry Smile: It involves a range of behaviors designed to get back at another person without him recognizing the underlying anger.

The Aquarius Man

Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor I’m taking a break from my series on rejection to comment on another matter. For those of you who might not know, there is an interesting discussion going on in the Psychology Today blogosphere. The discussion was initiated by an article from Dr. Rattenberg entitled ” What Women Really Want “. In that article, she discussed how men can improve their love lives by focusing on what she proposes women really want a man who is confident and high in self-esteem, as opposed to one who is simply materially wealthy.

That article was later discussed by Dr.

A related point would be that Amish are still eating this heavy farmer’s diet, but proportionally fewer Amish are farming over the past several decades with the move into small businesses.

I always enjoy proclamations of love to hypothetical people. I see them a lot on dating sites. My hobbies are cooking and hanging with you! I will treat you like a princess! Oh gosh, please don’t. If you do, that’s lovely. But if you don’t, that’s fine too.

6 Tips For Becoming A Realistic Optimist

Seawolf October 3, , 9: I was around a lot of pessimistic people at my last job and it was miserable. My new job has a lot more upbeat and positive people and it makes for a much happier life. That optimism spills over into my personal life and has allowed me to start up my side gig and I feel it has some great growth potential. The power of optimism!

A realistic optimist would still realise suffering is intrinsic and sometimes inescapable but would still see the good in it, where as a pessimist would focus entirely .

Consistently putting the negative spin on life comes at the price of emotional and physical well-being. But it is possible to change your way of thinking and living. These quotes and steps can help you find your way out of a pessimistic attitude and into a happier life. Are You Served by Pessimism? Figure out why you have a pessimistic personality. How does being negative benefit you? Perhaps you use sardonic humor as a way to cover up your insecurities. Pessimism comes in the form of a coping device for people uncomfortable with moving into unchartered waters.

The downside of the pessimistic life is that you may never realize your aspirations and dreams out of fear of the unknown. These seven tips will help you learn how to see your pessimistic personality for what it is—negative. A person with a pessimistic attitude feels like the job is too big and too difficult to complete, so why bother?

Break the job down into chewable bites. Create a timeline with specific goals to be reached within a realistic interval.

Does Optimism Kill Relationships

Generally the author has to savagely pound a square peg into a round hole, with regrettable results. The classic horrible example is deep space fighter aircraft. Most pulp falls for the old Space Is An Ocean fallacy along with the related misconceptions. Many pulp writers figured they were the first to have the bright idea of transplating the colorful legend of the dreaded Sargasso Sea into science fiction.

A deadly area of space that somehow traps spaceships who venture too close, only to join the deadly graveyard of lost ships. And not just human ships, a couple stories mention humans discovering wrecks of unknown alien spacecraft mixed in with the conventional ships.

The difference is all in how the optimist chooses to deal with those things. Instead of taking the easy route by complaining non-stop and wallowing in negativity with no intention of pulling yourself out of it, optimists do the complete opposite.

I’ve been violated When have I been helped? I’ve harmed others Guilt How have I helped? Mentor others, offer the gift of your time. For anxiety attacks, in particular, I’ve found meditation to be useful; focusing on the present and letting go of unrealistic, catastrophic fears about the future. When you find yourself catastrophizing about a negative event “What if this happens,” “What if that happens” , write down the Absolute Worst Case your catastrophic thoughts , the Perfect World Best Case exaggerated, extremely unlikely positive outcomes , and the Real World Most Likely Case realistic analysis of what’s likely.

This may be difficult to do in the heat of the moment. It may be helpful to start with relaxation techniques such as focusing on your breath. Building Optimism in Children There is a growing epidemic of depression in children and adolescents, and the problem is starting at younger and younger ages. A high percentage of depressed adolescents never receive treatment. The increase in depression is the biggest epidemiological change in our lifetime.